The Only Two Ways to Feel Good About Yourself

I see a lot of negativity lately on boards towards other members, their progress posts, goals, their training method (crossfit, ss, etc.) or whatever and it got me thinking.  I've been doing this for about 16 years at this point, and in the entire time I've been working out I have only seen two ways to feel better about yourself. This goes for lifting, athletics, finances, regular life, anything really.

The first way is to better yourself, advance yourself, improve yourself in some way, or otherwise get yourself closer to some goal. When you do this you don't really worry about what those around you are doing as much, because you know you're improving yourself, and that's what matters.  You are driven because you know that you are responsible for getting yourself further along in life, and are working at bettering yourself.

The second way is try and tear down those around you, and their accomplishments. Whether with words or actions, this only makes you feel better because when you compare yourself to those around you, their achievements have been lowered, at least in your own mind. This mindset engenders constant comparison to those around you, a lack of self-motivation, and the need to constantly strain for ways to delegitimize the accomplishments of those around you.  It's exhausting, at the end of the day it does nothing real to advance yourself. 


So just a reminder: If you find yourself tearing down the achievements of others in the gym, or making up excuses, or dumping on people here just trying to improve themselves; are you doing it because you truly feel criticism is warranted, or are you falling into that second method of feeling better about yourself.

Deacon Jones Quote

Q: Do you have any regrets from your career? Is there one thing that you'd like to take a "mulligan" on and do over?

Jones: Yes. … I'd kill more quarterbacks. That's the only thing I could do differently. I couldn't be any nastier. I couldn't have any more intent. The only thing I do is "execute" better


Anytime I think that the path ahead of me is hard, whether in life, athletics, career, whatever, I bring up that quote.  That interview was for ESPN's Page2 feature, 10 Burning Questions. Here.  It's probably my favorite quote on anything, ever.  Just raw unencumbered focus on what his goal is, even at age 70 looking back at what he would've done different.   That's really what I aim to do with myself; execute execute execute, if I fuck something up, go back and do an autopsy on that mistake and make sure it doesn't happen again. Turn that weakness into a strength.  Every action / thought / moment I'm awake has a purpose and intent behind it, every thing I do is part of the plan I have for myself.  Ask yourself if you're doing the same; are you making excuses? Are you letting yourself off too easy?  Could you have driven harder towards some goal? If the answer is yes, then suck it up and apply yourself.  Get that brutal streak when it comes towards getting your goals.  It doesn't mean you have to be hurting anyone, but it does mean that if someone thinks of getting in your way, their very next thought is that you'll run their ass over and leave them for dead. 

July 16, 2012 Progress Picture (Back)

Starting to even see definition in lower/mid back.  Going well.  When I looked at the picture on the camera at first I blurted out an expletive or two.  I can't believe my back looks like this right now.  Seeing the progress I've been making just inspires me to ratchet down on my diet even more and train even harder to get to that next level.  


I think that's what separates the people who have success and the people that truly achieve something greater than what they set out to do.  It's not that the achievers aren't happy with their successes; we are, ecstatic even.  It's that when we feel that happiness we don't think "I'm there!", we think "what's next?"  For me, I can't believe I've gotten to the level I have, especially over the last few weeks.   So I'm not sure what's next, cut back on the fat even more, lock in on my diet, and focus on the complete body & fitness level that I'm always trying to achieve.  I've almost stopped thinking in numbers at this point.  It's not about achieving a 550 lbs. deadlift, or benching 365, or squatting 500.  Those are all nice and I hope to achieve them, but at this point it's about how fast the weights are moving, how light they feel, the amount of power I'm pushing them with, at what body weight, at what speed am I running, how fit do I feel, how flexible, how pain free, how relaxed and healthy when I'm outside the gym.  


Everything's coming together training wise.  If it was to all end tomorrow, I'd always remember this time, even more than last summer.  But if it all ended tomorrow...I wouldn't let it end. I'd pick back up and start again.  But hopefully it doesn't come crashing down any time soon. I'm truly blessed to have been able to achieve what I have, and I hope people that read this remember where I started, and how the research, tinkering, and work has paid off for me, just like it can for them.